Why do all my favorite socks have holes in them? And other important questions.

No seriously. Why do my favorite socks have holes in them? And now my vans I bought two years ago are also tearing apart. 

April was a little crazy. I was sick for most of it and this was the first month where I spent almost every weekend in bed. Almost. Meaning I did not do stand up. I finally did a mic 2 days ago after ages, and it felt so amazing. I felt like I was injected with life and all the weight just unloaded and all other amazing feelings in the world you can think of. I won best set of the hour too which was very encouraging even though it doesn't mean shit (I do hope I get a free mic and then a show). 

I want to talk about something else though. Allow me to sound bitter. While I was in bed due to my cold, I inevitably got bored and did some stalking. I ended up discovering that one of the girls, actually several of the girls I went to school and college with, are married now. It's such a bizarre feeling. I haven't talked to them in years. A lot of them still live in the city they grew up in, and married people they met in school or knew of back then. 

It's a bizarre way to finally be able to let go of anger I was harboring towards the people who bullied me -- seeing them getting married. (A huge part of me can't help but push down the glee I feel. It's a little sad getting married in your twenties, and, to the weirdos we went to school with. TCHA) I think it puts things in perspective. They'd been preparing their whole lives to play the role of a wife, of course they didn't like me, and thought I was weird. The same girls who used to look up the shirts of other girls and laugh at the ones who had body hair are getting married in their mid twenties to really conservative hind*tva men in politics. 

It was a small town with small people. A lot of them couldn't think of anything more to be than a wife. I spent so much of my time trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. I couldn't see the cage for what it was until I left. 

I hope I am able to prove that it was worth it -- trying so hard. I hope it pays off. 

I cut my hair this week - just for $20 can you believe it. I am also neck deep in assignments, I am praying I pass these classes I didn't even want to take. I used all my savings for this stupid software for a course and Im so scared Im going to fail this class and get d worded. 

All things given. I am so grateful. I am so grateful I read so much and have changed so much and that I leave. Anyway Im exhausted and I have 4 assignments.