Denial is a river, yes and?
So it's been a while. I hope to succinctly capture all the highlights of the past few months. My friend graduated in May and moved to Texas two days later in a very last minute decision, which completely shocked me. I felt horrible because I'd been so busy for months and I couldn't meet her even once until two days before she moved. But I am glad I at least went to her graduation. I miss her.
I started improv around the same time and it was such a mind blowing experience, I am mad I didn't do it earlier, I've been here for nearly 4 years and it might hands down be the best thing to do in LA. I quickly started a routine of going to the jam sessions at Franklin every Sunday. The best best best place to be. Gosh. One of the Sunday's I went for a Jam session, I ran into the pride parade on my way there, near the Hollywood walk of fame, like two blocks away. It was my first pride parade despite me being here for so many years. It was so unexpected and I loved it. They'd opened up the Fonda Theatre on the street to the public and I snuck in for a few minutes. I ran into the most delightfully drunk gay man who gave what was probably the best dance performance I've ever seen. I was giddy. I remember meeting up with my improv friends right after that, and it was crazy because some of them had just driven over from Downtown not even 5 miles away where the situation was completely different, where the cars where being set on fire to protest the raids. I saw an up close video of a w*ymo being set on f*re sent to me by another friend of mine who sent it to me live from where he was protesting. I ended up meeting up with him an hour later to go watch Sinners at The Grove.
It's crazy. The whiplash of everything going on is pretty hard to digest. Some of the most horrifying things in history happening simultaneously with what might be the last few moments of joy. I know calling the Pride Parade an act of defiance seems stupid and self indulgent but I was honestly a bit surprised it was even held this year what with all the protests going on. A large part of me tried to absorb the parade because I didn't know how everything would look like in a few months or weeks. It also felt stupid going to watch a movie that day with the protests but I everything feels stupid in comparison with everything going on since 2016 amirite?
I went to my first Quincenera ever the week after the parade. It was a delightful experience. I ate like a pig and drank loads of horchata. Then the week after, I went to San Juan Capistrano with my new roommate, in a bid to make use of the Metro Student pass before it expired permanently. It was a nice experience although it was pretty hot. Also, our train got cancelled in the morning and we almost didn't go. It felt very ominous and my superstitious ass was like "um, so I think it's a sign". We only spent less than $40 each for the whole trip can you believe it?
I had my final improv class soon after which went really badly. Thankfully I had to meet up with my friend right after the class so I could at least decompress with her and pretend the performance never happened.
Also had Shabushabu for the first time the week after that. And went to the Academy for my first movie there, Suspirira. It BLEW my socks off.
Something that happened later that month which didn't blow my socks off was getting my rejection for the Woodberry Poetry room fellowship at Harvard. It was a really big punch to my gut because I'd been thinking about it every day since I applied for it back in February. Not a day went by when I didn't imagine what it would be like if I got it. It would've changed my life. In my head it was the reward for everything that I went through the past few years. But I didn't have it in the bag. The worst part was, I got the rejection on my way to a pool party I was very reluctant to go to in the first place. I ended up going only because my friend wanted to go and had already drove over from Pasadena. I was shattered the entire party and could barely pull myself together to hold conversations with people.
My friend did treat me to a wrap in the Santa Monica Erewhon right after though (the wrap sucked, what I wanted was Popeyes but they scoffed and took me to Erewhon. I am grateful for the experience though). And we went to the duck pond nearby after that which was also nice. I love being around ducks
I am not going to lie. I have kind of been wallowing in the grief of that rejection for the past few weeks. The first week after I just stayed in bed everyday. I didn't want to do anything else. I could barely pull myself together. That was all I wanted. I think I looked really pathetic to everyone around me. Eventually I started trying to volunteer on sets and managed to land a role on this set two weeks ago. It was extremely fun. I had forgotten how much fun being on set was, the entire cast was super sweet and I ended up meeting up with one of them for a mic the week before.
Also. Trader Joe's opened up down my street. Lucky me right? Like at least one thing has happened here in the Valley. Also. One of the days of my improv classes I walked past Chloe Sevigny and Natasha Lyonne in an open air restaurant next to my improv class. They were seated 3 feet away from me.
I did two shows the past week - my first shows since April. It was so nice. My friend watched me at the show in Van Nuys a couple days back and she was thankfully entertained. I was worried she'd be underwhelmed because I'd been asking her to come watch for months and she could never make it cos of her work.
The show yesterday on the other hand was meh, but my friend came out to support me and was super nice to me after. We even grabbed Chai latte after the show which made it feel like the good old times. Only this is a different friend and the chai latte we had sucked. Seriously. I have been having the shakes all day today.
I hope things solidify the next time I blog. Anyway the pictures now.
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